Transfixus Sed Non Mortuus

Here I Stand, Pierced and Transfixed

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Browsing Posts tagged mylife

1000

January 30, 2012 at 1:11 pm Comments off

Today is definitely a milestone for me. Also, it is my one thousandth post for the blog.

I think it’s important when I hit one of these milestones to take a moment and reflect on what was, what is, and what might be.

I wrote my first post way back in 2006, and (of course) it was about Saint Patrick’s Day. What is interesting about these posts is that I can almost remember some of the feelings I had when I was writing them, and that lends some interesting food for thought in this crazy head of mine. I remember what my life was like back then, especially some of the friendships I had and some that I didn’t even know about yet. It’s interesting to think of all the people that have really made a huge impact on my life that I didn’t even know existed in 2006. I am so grateful for all the friends that I had back then, even if the friendship has since waned or is no longer. I’m also really amazed at the friends I’ve met since then and all the joy we’ve shared. I hope that in the future some of these friendships I have gained will continue to blossom, and I look forward to the friendships I’ve not yet seen. I think it will be an amazing thing to see.

Life ,

Last Night’s Dream

January 23, 2012 at 9:53 am Comments off

Last night, I dreamt:

I was in a huge field of sunflowers and this field had tons of rolling hills. I couldn’t see much besides the valley I was in because the sunflowers were over my head and it was such a hilly area. I was looking for something, but I was trying to be quiet at the same time. As I snuck between the towering flowers, I saw at last what I was looking for…

It was a horse, dun brown in color with a shimmering black mane. With a wild whoop, I jumped on this horse’s back and grabbed a good bit of the mane. The horse reared for a moment and then shot out into the field like a rocket. The sunflowers shot by me to my left and to my right in groups of blurs. A few hit me in the head and hard as we sped over the hills.

At last the horse grew tired and we drew near to a spring. We stopped and the horse got a drink. After it had cooled down, it seemed that the horse was mine and would follow me. Behind me, I heard voices and a group of riders crested the hill behind me. POW! A shot from rifle hit the stream before me. I yanked the horse’s head up and we turned right and galloped along the sandy edge of the stream. POW! Another shot came whizzing dizzily near me, and when we had almost reached a clearing, POW! A shot ripped through my chest and I fell off the horse.

Then, I woke up.

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Congratulations Wolverines!

January 4, 2012 at 6:31 pm Comments off

Yesterday, I watched the University of Michigan Wolverines at the Sugar Bowl. I watched the game at my friend Patrick’s house, and nearly the entire time, I had a huge gaping pit-of-the-stomach feeling that the Wolverines were going to lose! I had a deep and abiding hope that maybe, just maybe, through providence, the Wolverines would win. Virginia Tech had a commanding presence from the first drive. They were able to convert to a first down and seemed to march over our defenses from the outset. I was scared. Then, it seemed that our defenses got shored up a little bit. It was just enough to stop them from scoring a touchdown and they had to kick for three points instead of the six or seven they would have gotten with a touchdown. Then, they made some mistakes that caused some yardage losses for them, and Michigan was slowly able to capitalize. A few minutes before half time, the mood changed entirely. Michigan scored! Then, Michigan scored again! It was very lucky, and I remember thinking to myself that at least we have some points on the board. More flukes and zaniness continued through the game with Vriginia Tech making some mistakes at the worst possible time for them. They tied up the game to send the whole thing into overtime. On their overtime drive, they came extremely close to making a touchdown, but upon further review the play was overturned. Their kicker, who had been spot on for his other kicks during the game missed his shot. Then, for the first time, I actually thought that maybe the Wolverines would pull it off! When the kicker sent the ball through the uprights to win the game, I was astounded! The group I was with just exploded in celebration and cheers.
Virginia Tech seemed to have a better team out there, but somehow some way, the Wolverines pulled it off! Congratulations to the Michigan Wolverines!

Life , ,

A Diligent Life

January 3, 2012 at 3:43 am Comments off

If you had asked me a couple of years ago if I led a diligent and persistent life, I would have told you “yes.” However, I’m not so sure of that nowadays. In looking at the past, I see clearly all those places where I’ve failed to live up to my expectations of myself. What seems to happen is that I tell myself that I can do something, and for the moment that is true. But then, I tell myself that I can do another thing which might slightly compromise the first thing. That works okay for a while until a third thing comes along that I think I can do if I slightly compromise on the first two. This proceeds ad infinitum until I can accomplish next to nothing and I am stretched way too thin.

One might ask why I do such a thing. From my perspective, it comes from two main sources: love and wanting my life to be well-lived. I take on extra burden because I love something or someone. I make a commitment because I love this person. I take on more responsibility because I care about that responsibility’s well-being. I love this Earth and the creatures on it, and I feel a certain responsibility to them. The other reason I take on extra burden is because I have a desire to “experience” life. I might train for a marathon because I want to know what a 26.2 mile run feels like. I might bike more because I want to know what life feels like through the lens of a multi-day bike ride. I might try to learn in order to understand the world around me.

I think in general, these instincts of mine to experience and love in this life are quite necessary and good motives. The trouble is that I cannot do everything. I cannot be diligent in every aspect of my life. I cannot excel in everything under the sun. Other people may be able to, but I cannot. So, what then shall I be diligent in? What would make me feel that I could give love and have lived a good life?

Musings , , ,

The Saga of the L.E.A.K.

December 14, 2011 at 7:23 am Comments off

As many of you know, I got a new roommate this past October. Things had been going pretty good overall…until THE LEAK happened. My roommate noticed the leak at the end of November. He is a construction contractor, and after a few looks at the leak, where it was coming from, etc. he said that in his opinion the apartment complex needs to get a new roof. Thus started the saga of which I shall tell a small portion. First, I took some pictures. Here’s what the leak basically looked like:

We had a leak in our apartment

Here's the leak after one day of leakage

There were other spots, but the picture above shows the worst of them. I contacted the apartment manager, and the maintenance man checked it out. He thought the gutters were the problem (though my roommate was pretty sure that wasn’t it). Nevertheless, the following day, gutters were replaced. The problem persisted and continued to get worse over the next day or two. The maintenance man checked it out yet again, and this time he thought it was the soffit (to my roommate’s chagrin). Meanwhile, the leak was getting worse and worse. My roommate had put a fan going, but the leaks kept getting bigger and the wall couldn’t dry fast enough. The water spot kept getting larger and larger until it reached the floor. That’s when our troubles got compounded. My roommate found mold in the corner where the water was.

Mold in the Corner of the Room

Mold in the Corner of the Room

This back-and-forth had gone on for well over a week, and there didn’t appear to be any resolution in sight. My roommate eventually had to get the City involved for inspections and all that because he knew that it was getting dangerous. After the City got involved, things happened at a very quick rate. Some inspectors came out and told the apartment complex that they needed a new roof. A specialty mold inspector came out and told them that they needed to fix it correctly and that he would be watching them closely. All this happened within two days of calling the City. I was very impressed with the professionalism of all the staff in charge of taking care of these things. It was a good reminder for me that there are resources available that can take care of such things should the need ever arise again.

Apparently, the city requires adequate responses to the violations to be completed within five days, and the apartment complex certainly seems to be trying to fulfill that obligation. Within a few days, we had a new roof. We had to move all my roommate’s belongings elsewhere in the apartment or to storage. Additionally, we had to remove everything from the living room. So, our dining room is completely full of living room furniture (and our Christmas tree) and my room is filled with a lot of my roommate’s belongings. He is staying at a hotel temporarily while his room looks like this while the mold gets cleared up and the drywall replaced:

My Roommates Room

This is how my roommate's room looks right now

The same will be happening to the living room soon as well. It certainly has been a hassle, but I guess that’s the way it goes sometimes. I’ll be very glad to put this saga behind me, that’s for sure!

Life , , ,

What a Weekend

December 6, 2011 at 5:16 pm Comments off

This weekend went really well for me! I had a great time hanging out with good friends as we traipsed through downtown on Friday. We had dinner at Conor’s and then wandered around downtown while getting into the Christmas spirit. I even sang a song or two along the way. Overall, it was a lot of fun.

Then, on Saturday, I had my company Christmas party. The highlight from that was that I won a brand new iPad2! We had a drawing with a couple of door prizes, including the iPad, a 19″ flat screen TV, and a couple of gift cards. I was very surprised to win that. It was very nice.

Also, I was “double dog” dared to wear my kilt to the party, which I did!

Having Fun at the Work Party

We are having fun at the work party!

I had a lot of fun with it! The best reaction was from my coworker Lei. He asked if I had lost a bet or something of that nature, and he couldn’t stop laughing! All in all, I stood out a bit, but I wasn’t a bit embarrassed about it. I feel a bit embarrassed because I did win an award that one of my fellow employees (I’m not sure who) nominated me to. Everything that was said about me was really nice, and for some reason, I was embarrassed about it. My face turned a bright shade of red as I walked up to receive my award. I forget who it was, but one of my coworkers commented on that saying, “He has not problem wearing a kilt, but he gets embarrassed about an award.” Truly, that person was right!

On Sunday, I was able to catch up with a friend of mine and we went to Great Plains Burger for dinner. It is a pretty nice place. I had a buffalo burger and it was lovely. We both ordered fries, but they gave us so many, we had to split it. Next time I go, I will probably share my fries with someone rather than get a separate order!

So, yes, this weekend was quite the weekend, and I’ll say it was a great time!

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Thanksgiving Weekend

November 29, 2011 at 5:04 am Comments off

This past weekend was a lot of fun! I was able to spend a good bit of time with my awesome family and friends. I am a real lucky person to have so many lovely people around me. They give me a lot of hope for the future and for all the joyful moments ahead!

Thanksgiving was nice as always. My family rents out a cafeteria at a community college, so that makes it a very nice time in terms of not having to feel cramped in a house. We also have the use of the gym, so we were able to have a lot of fun playing soccer to work off some of the overeating we did earlier in the day.

Annalies and Maria on the Elliptical

We are having fun working out!

Preparing for Soccer

Getting ready for some Soccer

Playing Soccer

Playing Soccer

We went and got the Walsh family Christmas tree on Saturday as well. That was a lot of fun because my brother Dan was there, and he usually hasn’t been able to participate in that particular tradition! I think we got a great tree. It’s fat and sassy, and I think it will look awesome once it is decorated.

Overall, it was one lovely weekend, and I’m really grateful for the experience!

Life , , ,

The Shelf Life of Serenity

November 21, 2011 at 5:03 am Comments off

One of the things I’ve started to learn is that my own inner peace tends to have a “shelf life” that is highly dependent on the things that I do as well as the things that I experience. Before, I used to strive to reach a certain level of peace with the implication that once I reached that level, my life would be “complete” somehow.

There were quite a few times in my past where I said to myself, “This is it! This is what I have been searching for!” Yet, I was disappointed over and over when I got dragged down in the moment, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what went wrong. If I thought about it, I knew that things like “love” take a lot of work to continue to grow or that I had to show up to work every day that I wanted to get paid. However, for some odd reason, I had the idea that I could rest on the laurels of my own serenity indefinitely. That was the wrong tack to take.

I’ve learned that when I do a “good” deed, I feel better, and when I do a not-so-perfect deed, I tend to feel worse. However, the newest thing I’ve learned is that if I do nothing, I also tend to feel worse. Like a gladiator in the Coliseum or charioteer in the Circus Maximus, I cannot rest on the laurels from a race that I have won in the past. Instead, I must continue working towards a new sunset and expectantly await a new dawn every day that I have breath in me.

For me, that means that I cannot concentrate so much on what level of serenity I have from day to day because my serenity ebbs and flows like so many waves on the shores of Lake Michigan. But the height and volume of those waves are highly dependent on what I do in terms of being of service, building a spirit of compassion, building a community, healing the hearts of the broken, and doing my best to be a channel of peace, even when I do not necessarily feel that way myself.

To sum up, if I take a break from building those things that make me a better person, my serenity begins to spoil like fruit on a sunny window sill. Serenity has a “best if used by” date and must be ever replenished and fresh in order to continue its usefulness to me!

Life, Musings , , , ,

My Birthday Dinner

November 16, 2011 at 11:39 pm Comments off

On Saturday, I was able to celebrate my birthday with quite a few of my friends. It was a lot of fun for me. I have found in my life that I feel the most fulfilled when I am a part of a community. In this case, it was great to have so many of my friends able to share my birthday with me, and that made me feel included and special.

I am incredibly grateful for my friends. Some have been with me for a very long time and some have been with me only a short while, but I can say that each one has made a mark on my life and in my heart. I really feel that that is what life is about. When I feel that friendship and love is flowing, I really feel alive and that my life has purpose. What an amazing gift it is when I can feel that way!

My life is amazing today in large part because I have such amazing friends. My thanks to all of you!

Life , , , ,

Turkey Trot 5k

November 15, 2011 at 11:22 pm Comments off

Last Saturday, I was able to race in the “Turkey Trot 5k” at Hudson Mills Metropark in Dexter, Michigan. My friends Andrew and Brittany paid for my entrance fee as a gift for my birthday. That was really awesome of them, and I am very grateful to them for it.

The race itself was really beautiful, and it wound around some really nice areas. The weather was perfect for a race in that it was sunny, but not too hot. The course was one big loop and I was able to have a sense of where I was and how far away I was from the finish line throughout the race. I was definitely tiring in the last mile to a mile and a half, but I really tried to push through. It didn’t help that I had a cold, so breathing was a little tough. I think I could have done a little better if I hadn’t had the cold, but you never know.

Anyway, here are my stats (HR=heart rate at the mile marker, avg.=average heart rate through the previous mile):
Mile 1: 6:04.3 HR 174/avg. 162
Mile 2: 6:15.7 HR 180/avg. 176
Mile 3.1: 6:59.1 R 184/avg. 183
Total time by my watch 19:19.1

The chip on my “bib” said that I had done a 19:16.3, so I must have started my watch a few seconds before I crossed the starting line or something of that nature. I placed second in my age group (out of thirty six) and twenty second overall (out of one thousand forty)!

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